friend of my soul

friend of my soul
Originally uploaded by rod lewis

Just before dusk last night, thick, fluffly, black clouds rolled into town. At first they merely spotted the sky, leaving large swaths of blue, and bright crepuscular rays. The anniversary half moon stood directly overhead in the shrinking blue. Soon, the entire sky was enshrouded in the thickness like a blanket, under which, the warm sunset shone it colors. The sun went down and the cloud curtain closed.
After dinner, there was no harvest moon to shine its nostalgia, memories and sentimental sweetness down on us. We walk from the restaurant to the car forced into the moment under the hidden moon. After 21 years, all we’ve got is now. We stand at mid-sky, and head west. At times, the sky will be clear, and everyone in our sphere will watch us traverse the firmament. Sometimes the sky will be cloudy, and we’ll be unseen, but moving along nonetheless. The sky will clear again, and we’ll be in a different location than we were, but will have moved there in secret.
You can see the expressions of our love, but you can’t see our love. You can observe the individuals and couple we’ve become, but you can’t know the intimate glories, the struggles, the construction and deconstruction that has had to happen in each of our lives to form us as one flesh. When you see a beautiful vista, it may not be evident that there was once a castle wall blocking the view. When you see a beautiful, ivy-covered fence, it may not be evident against what dangers it defends. You may not see the love and care that were needed by four hands and two hearts to build it so gently, fragile and strong.
To reach the depths of a soul, walls must be crumbled, wounds must be healed, rocky paths must be smoothed. Often, one has to tunnel through rock and dirt, to reach a secret garden that desperately needs tending. Enormous amounts of trust are required to allow someone to enter these areas. Behind our fortresses, there are scary, ugly things that we’ve hidden even from ourselves. But there are also joys and beauties unimaginable.


When this night is over, we can watch the sky clear, and stand facing east waiting for the waxing moon to rise. We can watch it climb and remember. But our moon has risen, babe. We’re high in the sky, We can even remember the clouds, for though at times they obscured our love from one another, at other times, they swaddled us, brought us together, caused us to find refuge in one another.
If we are so blessed, perhaps we look west to many years before our setting. Let’s continue to wax and shine a light to the moons rising behind us.