proud spouse

This post is in no way intended to cause discontent, remorse, anxiety, pain or anguish, resentment, jealousy, bitterness, envy, covetousness, or dissatisfaction, pride, disenchantment, disappointment, or any other nasty thing that a post like this might cause. I hereby absolve myself of responsibility in any of the above mentioned feelings among my blognanimous constituency.
Let me see a show of hands, how many of you are married? Thank you, I see those hands. Ok, hands once again, how many of you have been married for at least 19 years? Very good, thank you. Hands again please, how many of you are married to the same person you married at least 19 years ago? Wow, good job. And finally, hands once more, how many of you have been married at least 19 years to the same person who weighs exactly what they weighed on the day you were married?
Ha! That’s what I thought!
Well, I am.