intrapersonal

I know I visit this subject often, but I am still learning about it. About balance. About giving and receiving. About frustration and expression. Today one thing after another led Will up to an emotional eruption. Those of you who don't know this about him may be surprised. Those of you who've witnessed his sensitivity would be surprised when I say that he is incredibly strong for holding back so much before the eruption occurs.
It's all perspective. We can tag someone with a behavior and not even realize how much more than that they are able to hold back.
So I spent some time with Will, prayed with him, tried to bring him some peace. I talked with him about his gifts, his creativity and sensitivity that not only allow him to notice things that no one else would notice except that he show it to them, but also cause him to wear his heart on his sleeve. He expressed frustration at not being able to explain his sensitivity to people (mainly grownups) who are hurting him. I explained to him that people without his sensitivity wouldn't understand if he did explain it. I feel sorry for them. Often it is insecurity that causes people to be so egocentric that others' feelings aren't even on their radar screen, but this is very difficult to explain about adults to a ten-year-old.
As Will began to calm down, he connected the idea of gifting with Gardner's intelligences. "Dad," he said, "I know what your Gardner intelligence is." I asked him what he thought. "Musical," he said, "mine is spatial. That's why you're always telling me I'm your spatial child." I laughed. He is spatial you know. He went on to explain that people have more than one intelligence. There are some that everyone has, like either interpersonal or intrapersonal intelligence. Interpersonal people, he explained, have to be around people a lot. Intrapersonal people have to be alone a lot. He told me that intrapersonal people think a lot about things and how they feel and what causes it and stuff. Since they think about it, they can also understand more easily how other people feel and what causes it. I asked him then what was my other intelligence, inter or intra personal? "You usually know how I'm feeling," he said.

Yesterday I had a conversation that made me feel that introversion was a bad thing. Introversion seems to be something that should be overcome. It's anti-social. We have to learn to be more comfortable with people. I am a bit shy, but I'm not uncomfortable with people. That is, if I have time alone to fuel for it.
It is ironic that introversion can enable closer interpersonal relationships through sensitivity to feelings and a more balanced relationship. Extroversion can actually be an obstacle to intimate relationships because the extrovert's need for people can inhibit his ability to give personally. I hope it doesn't sound like I'm slamming extroverts, actually I'm envious of them. It's just that to me, an introvert, it seems that being fed in solitude leaves room to feed in community. If I always needed to be fed by other people, my ability to listen and give would be hampered. So if you're an extrovert, more power to ya. I wish I could be more like you. But please don't think less of me because I need some time alone. It helps me help Will. It helps me hear the divine whisper. It keeps me sane when you extroverts are all up in my space. (grin)
So the repeating moral of this tale is that I went to Will today hoping to make him feel better about himself. I hope that was accomplished. He certainly made me feel better about myself.

blogged with permission