Monday, May 03, 2004

radical reversal

A few weeks ago I began to notice a drastic change in one of my students. I blogged about it, but decided not to post it. I worry about expressing the observed growth of humility, because it may sound like a suggestion of previous arrogance. In fact, the shift that I observed was from the desire for humility to actually being humbled.
The ramifications of true humility impact all areas of life. One becomes more sympathetic, understanding, teachable. This particular student was learning faster, responding differently, and even playing better. I told him that I sensed a change in him. He told me that he had realized some things lately that had really changed his outlook. What he said will sound obvious and old to some of us, because it is something that we have learned and live by. To others of us, this will sound obvious and old because it is something that we’ve always heard. But when we actually learn it and live by it, it will be all new again. An aha moment.
“I will never be able to figure out the ways of God”, he told me. “If I try to make myself look good, help people to see my talent, speak highly of myself and try to lift myself up, I will always be humiliated. But if I am humble, others will lift me up and encourage me.”
Well, of course. This is what Jesus taught practically every time he opened his mouth. The last shall be first. Even the Son of Man came to serve. Paul recognized this paradox in Jesus when he told us to model Him who being very nature God, did not try to grasp equality with God. He made Himself nothing and put on a servant’s nature. Jesus’ servanthood was turned into Lordship. His humility became glory. All through obedience to His Father.
Of course it’s a matter of heart. Jesus knows our hearts. Even people can usually discern false humility. So of course it is no good to feign humility in order to be lifted up. Some call this “fishing”. Motives are all wrong. Self-centered. Selfish. It’s amazing how confusing this can be. It’s amazing how we can get it all completely backward and try to behave rightly for totally wrong reasons. I have seen many Christian marriage videos and books that are entirely designed to teach you how to behave toward your spouse so that you can get what you want. How many times have I heard someone encourage kindness by explaining that it makes one feel good about him self. Jesus warns us of wrong motivations. It seems He offers us the choice between being rewarded now and being rewarded later. Evidently later is much better.
The real thing happens when one is motivated to humility by an honest understanding of him self. It is when someone is motivated to kindness by compassion and love rather than desire for reciprocation. It seems he will get it only if it’s not what he is after.
So I guess all these thoughts have been spurred by the response to my desire to encourage. I try to encourage Chris and then ride all day on the return strokes. In my heart of hearts, that is not what I was looking for. I was looking to comfort. BUT, I can sure imagine the temptation next time to anticipate the volley. Wow, what a fine line between feeling encouraged because someone else has been encouraged, and encouraging to be encouraged. Yes, it is the function and purpose of community that we are each comforted and encouraged by one another. Purely, this is a result of a community of selfless people under the leadership of the Holy Spirit, caring for the needs of one another. Just another one of those things we’ve got to learn from the Master.

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