raising the bar

I’ve been reading Greg’s convergence post over and over. I’ve read it from its written perspective and from my own perspective, inserting meaning as it applies to the goings on in my growth and process. Seems a lot of people are thinking lately about the ambient noise in our lives and its drowning and swallowing of the divine whisper. I attended a seminar with Matt Redman on this very topic. All around us, noise vying for our attention. We miss the still small voice.
I don’t think I suffer from that. I’m more likely to hear the voice and disobey it. Truth is, I’ve always been one of those Greeks who attribute all my thoughts to God. Well, most of my thoughts. Surely you know things go through my head that couldn’t possibly be mistaken for the thoughts of God. That’s probably why the Greeks had so many gods – so many conflicting thoughts – surely the gods must also have trouble getting along. Certainly makes a good case for the existence of Aphrodite. Apollo and Dionysus. Paul’s flesh and spirit. C.S. Lewis’ natural man vs. the Spirit of God, our little red man on one shoulder and the angel on the other.
But ideas, fleeting thoughts, I’ve always attributed them to God’s desire for me. And prayer – honestly even as a child, my prayers were usually responses to these “thoughts”. In high school, I was a regular Martin Luther, bowing my head over every little thing, riddled with guilt over stray thought and wandering eye. Confession. I’d consult silently for the most common decisions. In my heart of hearts, I don’t think I’ve often missed God’s whisper because of ambient noise. My problem rather is that having heard, pondered, even prayed over it, I’ve often disregarded it.
Greg’s blog speaks of prayer. One has to be very careful of prayer. If you don’t really want to know how God feels about something, you shouldn’t ask him. Of course that’s silliness, if you’re aware that God does have a will, then you’re just as responsible for seeking it as taking action upon knowing it. In the past week, I have felt strongly several times that God was asking me to do something, say something, take action - and I’ve not done it. Amidst the stuff of everyday, I still hear the voice, feel the tug and go on about my stuff.
In our little sphere, we’re asking the questions. How is this accomplished? How does one…? I’ve heard some of the answers. In many cases, its time to stop asking for direction that I’ve already been given, and start asking for guts to follow the direction. Boldness. Courage. You know what? Some of these things aren’t even the big deal you think they are. They are little things. Little everyday kingdom living things. Walking in the Way things. I’m just too selfish, too busy, too much a spiritual pansy to engage in the normal activity of a kingdom living, way walking, normal, Jesus follower.
Pierce my ear, paint my forehead, gird my loins. I’m praying for guts.