vertizontal supplication

Sorry to revisit a topic that I revisit too often. But now and then, a conversation comes up and I get all about a subject all over again. So my Mom and I were talking the other night, and she exclaimed that she had no patience for worship songs that aren’t singing to Jesus. Well that pushed my buttons! Honestly, there is a place for songs that are ‘about’ instead of “to”, but most people seem not to know the difference, and use an entirely different criterion to judge their value.
So as we were talking, I told her that it was interesting that she felt so passionate about that, because the opposite feeling is precisely where I’ve received the most flack from people who don’t like the music I use. They say, of course, that the song could be written to anyone, that it is not clear that the words are “about” God. So like lyric content criteria for Christian radio, songs have to have the requisite number of “Jesuses”, “Lords”, “Gods”, “lions of Judah”, and “Elohims”, to satisfy the skeptical listener’s Christian content meter. Of course, speaking directly to someone usually involves personal pronouns rather than proper names and descriptors, and usually implies relationship. Of course, you can talk about someone without having a relationship with him. You can tell someone else about what you’ve heard about him and you will use his proper name to refer to him. So the expressed fear is that when I sing this song, other people won’t know for sure about whom I’m singing. Of course, my response is, I’m not singing this song for other people, that should be obvious from the very lyric you are criticizing, no matter how performance oriented YOU might be.
I was thinking about this on my way home from church this afternoon and got an interesting picture in my head. People always say that it’s ok to talk to yourself as long as you don’t answer. When this thought crossed my radar screen, I found several trails to travel. The first trail is blazed by my own feeling that often prayer feels like I’m talking to myself. That is, if no one else is around. If other folks are around, like in church, we begin to feel as if we are speaking for their benefit, and don’t feel at all like we are talking to ourselves. It can seem very awkward, talking to your self. And if you worry that an answer in such a conversation indicates insanity, then you will probably hope not to get an answer. This is ironic, because prayer is not a conversation with one’s self, and therefore, an answer should be expected, but we close our ears to it for fear that in hearing it, we will be deemed “crazy”.
I wonder then, if anyone prays when no one is around to hear. Doesn’t that seem like a really stupid statement? When no one is around to hear? Nevermind that Jesus warned us not to pray flowery prayers for the benefit of those listening to my eloquent theological verbosity, but to hide out in my closet and groan from my soul, the depths of my need, cares, and gratitude.
So prayer, like vertical (man to God) songs, is turned into horizontal (man to man) delivery of information, and actual man-to-God prayer language is not recognized as prayer at all, because it doesn’t contain third person references and theological Christianese.
Just another church activity that gets defined by what it’s not and is not recognized for what it is. So we opt for the imposter and criticize the real thing.