explain :: defend :: recant :: apologize?

Why can’t I voice saudade with a gentle spirit like Dave does?
So I feel like I’ve got to clear up some possible misunderstandings from yesterday’s post. First of all, I was responding to C'hrises post and pondering its manifestation within my own environment. My lament was with US – Christians in general – not seminary or Bible College, or theologians’ approach to teaching, etc. My observation was that we depend on others to develop our theology for us, yes even at seminary and bible college.
My reference to “theology” as a history course was not meant to reference theology 101 or 801, but our generic approach to the study of God.
My quip about the missed quiet time for the sake of hermeneutics was meant to depict compartmentalization on our part that causes us to miss that Bible Study and God Time and the Study of Theology are not mutually exclusive. They should never get in the way of one another.
I just want to be one of those who live like I know God. I want to own my theology and my faith. I want to figure out how this is done and somehow bring my students along. My music is a metaphor for this pursuit. Ironic that I teach theory.