Sunday, March 12, 2006

lent filter

Temps were about the same today as yesterday, but it was sunnier. It is only slightly cloudier tonight so far, so the moon has really pretty interaction backlighting cumulus beauties. The frogs are singing again.
I came in from church this afternoon, and ate a bowl of cereal before heading to the driveway to finish reassembling my truck. Ok, it wasn’t A bowl of cereal, several bowls of cereal. Ok, it wasn’t several bowls of cereal, a BOX of cereal. I’ve really abused the break-fast for Resurrection day today. This is a huge confession - I’ve also had 3 hot dogs and a bag of microwave popcorn today. It’s a good thing the kids found my bag of potato chips that I’ve been hiding since last weekend. There was no trace that it ever existed, or I’d have had more to confess. I guess I do have to confess being upset that they’d eaten it. Who am I to complain? In ordinary time, the poor little ones can go to bed with their futures secured, their cares cast upon him without a thought as to the sustenance of their developing, growing bodies secured in well-stocked cupboards, only to wake and find that I’ve done everything in my power overnight to render scripture void of truth.
Last weekend I was so religious that I ate at midnight on Satur- uh, Sunday morning. Letter of the law. The spirit would have waited until it was honestly Sunday, but the religious in me said midnight was ok. But I didn’t gorge myself on Sunday last week. As I ate moderately, I considered how it feels to be without. I considered how it feels to be dependent on and provided for by Christ. As a result, each morsel tasted like a measure of grace and mercy.
A box of cereal, 3 hot dogs, and a bag of popcorn. What an abuse of grace. And cheap grace at that. Not a veggie in the day. Shall I eat more so that grace may abound? Ma genoito! Tonight, I’m thinking of those poor folks out in the wilderness sneaking extra handfuls of Manna and stuffing it into their pockets, only to find it putrid and worm-infested later.
What does it take to learn to rely on the daily spoonfuls? His grace is sufficient. His mercies are new every morning, I know that, I’ve experienced his new mercy every morning, but here I am trying to stuff myself with mercy to save for the rainy day. Trying to cover new sin with old mercy when new is available.
Lord, help me to walk in confidence that your spoonfuls will be there and be filling when I need them. Teach me to accept each freshly prepared batch as I wake and bask in the day and lie down with confidence that I’ll wake to find you fresh and new with the sunrise. It’s a long week and you’re in it.