it still hurts

there is always pain in the dying, no matter how many deaths.
No doubt there is pain in the being born.
For just as the one who gives birth suffers so in doing, the one who gives rebirth suffered so for the pleasure, and knowing and having told his friends that he would rise up again, he went and suffered great agony contemplating what was about to happen.
And just as he came out of the tomb with holes in his hands, feet, and side, and stripes on his back, the pheonix rises covered in ashes and soot.
Born to die again? Death to rise again? These are the cycles of the context of creation into which we are placed, and of which we are a part, until at last, we come alive.