recuerdos

As you look back over the years, do you have memories engraved indelibly on your mind that consist of so much more than a mentally visualized still-life snapshot? Memories that consist of smells, sounds, temperature, emotions that aren't remembered, but still felt as strongly as ever?
Do you remember with each of those memories, being in the moment, or the next day, thinking, “That is a moment I will never forget”? Gathering around you all those smells, sounds, temps, and emotions so that they would stay with you forever?
I’ll bet everyone has those memories, but few of them could have been anticipated. In any given wonder-moment, we bask, we absorb, we gather, we dream of reliving it for years; but often it is a different moment entirely that stays with us and causes us joy years down the road, and these often take us by surprise.
But this should be of no surprise. Art is the same way. We think we know now what will last, what will stand the test of time, but we can’t possibly know how it will play against what is to come. In this way, we can’t even know in ourselves, what memories will mean for us down the road. At the least, we experience a moment with our current circumstances, emotions, situations, etc. At most, we experience a moment based on what we’ve known so far. Gee, that’s the best I’ve experienced in my whole life. But we can’t know what experiences are to come and where any given moment will fall in the scheme of importance in shaping who we are years from now.
On the other hand, there are memories of a type that are born of other memories. Categorical, maybe. We feel that a moment will last because it brings to mind other memories that we have. Often these moments do last because they get added to memories in a particular category. Sometimes, deeply lasting impressions are made when two or more of our categories converge. I have some very important memories of musical experiences. The most important of these memories are the ones I shared with Allison, who has a category of her own in experiential recesses of my mind. So certain music can trigger specific memories with her, certain memories can bring to mind specific music. Both bring back atmosphere and emotion. We both have memories of hearing Harry James, and James Taylor, in concert while in college. The Pittsburgh Symphony at Heinz Hall centered an evening that no other subsequent Pittsburgh Symphony concerts could equal except that they bring to mind the memories of that first one. I have musical memories without Allison, but they are only half memories without the support of the categorical context.
Last night, we made a memory together, and I am sure that this one can be manufactured and preserved if only (and maybe preferably) as a booster memory for some older ones that needed some reminiscing about now. We spent two hours last night sitting and watching and listening, from 20 feet, to whom I believe to be the coolest musician of the century, Dave Brubeck. At 84 years old, he adds carefree joy and experienced wit to his coolness. He speaks to the piano and causes it to sing back whatever his ear asks for, drawing from the hidden recesses of his improvisations, quotes and manipulations of every composer imaginable, nodding to his influences, manifesting his memories, adding himself to a categorical memory sequence and drawing from our minds every magical memory that we ever experienced. How is it that you can check off one guy on your “old geezer concert tour”, and feel like you’ve experienced an entire generation of performers?
Allison, thank you for experiencing Brubeck with me. Please engrave “Take Five” on your aural memory, never forget that blue-bird-flute-flutter on “Over the Rainbow”, or the excruciatingly slow, longingly bent note on “Stormy Weather” in the Harold Arlen birthday tribute. I hope the smells of coffee, realm, and the sound of a stormy sax improvisation, all combine to create an entirely new memory that is only yours and mine.
Didn’t that flute flutter sound strangely like a butterfly emerging?
That’s where you’ll find me.