being together

Sometimes words really get in the way of conversation for me. Sure, sometimes it’s just hard to find the right words to say, or even the right the things to talk about, but sometimes it’s just that words aren’t needed at all. Some of the deepest conversations are possible because they don’t require words. When we don’t understand this, we can sabotage some of the greatest conversations by using words. Now you know I like to talk, but only if words are required.
I’m an experience kind of person I think. And as much as I like and am fueled by being alone, the alone fuel is no good without someone to spend it on. I like to experience with other people. Sometimes the experience is conversation with words. Sometimes the word conversation distracts us from the experience. Maybe the experience is something that we share. Maybe the experience is each other.
Yesterday, I was in faculty workshop from 8:00am to 4:15pm. Words aplenty. Discussion galore. When I got home at 4:30, Allison was taking Molly to ballet. The boys were here doing their homework. Will was spinning his wheels, so I got down in the floor to help him. Two hours later we finished, after many words and pleadings.
Now Will and I had father/son time scheduled. It had been postponed from the previous night when our plans were unavoidably thwarted. Believe it or not, I was still looking forward to our evening out, even though I was pretty much devoid of focus or conversation by then. We went to Little Mexico for supper. Will had a taco with rice and beans. I had a chimichanga with shrimp, scallops and crab, and potatoes on the side. I prepared myself for the non-stop battery of focused, one-on-one attention. It didn’t happen. We sat quietly, relaxed, exchanged the occasional nicety.
After dinner, Will went up and tried to pay Ramone with some Filipino coins that Allison had brought back. That made Ramone’s day. Before we left, he’d offered us a place to stay with his brother in Manila who is an avid senior citizen Harley fanatic.
When we got in the truck, I asked quiet Will if he was ok. "I’m fine Dad." When we got home, he said, “Dad, I really enjoyed our time. That was really great.” “It was for me too, Will.”
Later, after a while out under the clear sky, I thought, wow, I might have stored up some words for Allison. She came out and sat opposite me. Still no need for words. We just experienced the evening together. Experienced each other. Stayed in the moment.
When we finally went into the house, I felt very satisfied.
Thanks family for just what I needed. I enjoyed the evening.