Saturday, September 27, 2008

strength and beauty

strength and beauty
Originally uploaded by rod lewis

Perhaps I am not too simplistic or presumptuous to scrunch the perseverance of a marriage to two key ingredients. I would not dare say that these are the key ingredients of all marriages, or even most marriages, but I’m ready to contemplate their importance in ours.
Strength and Beauty. And not necessarily in that order.
Also, contrary to what might be expected here, gender roles have not necessarily dictated the shifting distribution of those two ingredients. Perhaps at any given time, one of us has corrected the imbalance created by bringing the neglected ingredient into a moment that was heavily flavored with the other. But over time, we’ve shared these two ingredients between us until each of us strive to bring both to our union. Lest you think that my strength and Allison’s beauty have combined to create what we have, you may have a very simplistic, superficial view of beauty and strength.
Perhaps even, her obvious beauty and my obvious strength have had to be struggled through to overcome buried ugliness and hidden weakness. Eventually, we both bring a bit of strength and beauty, but neither is quite enough without the other’s strength and beauty. Together, we are quite beautiful and strong!
Truly, at any given shared moment, one of us can perceive the moment as sheer beauty, while the other feels only sheer strength. This is a phenomenon that we can become only merely aware of through continued growth toward intimacy. I wonder if one of the greatest achievements in a marriage, is to realize the beauty of strength and the strength of beauty. I’m guessing that it is possible that this realization is what stops two people from living as though each bring the missing piece of the relationship, and find that the division between the two pieces has disappeared.
Is this what it means to become one?
What an incredible mystery that two individuals can become more complete, individual, self-aware, and real when melded together with another.