coemdy fo eorrrs

So I’m sitting here at the computer working on Easter Sunday worship, enjoying a cold beverage. I type a bit and reach for my Mountain Dew™. My fingers don’t quite make it around the bottle and so it tips – just a little mind you, but just enough to send a droplet up and over and directly onto (into) my keyboard. I quickly pick up the keyboard and turn it upside down hoping to drain the dew from circuitry. A dribble comes forth and I hope I’m safe. About 20 minutes pass before my computer begins to change pages, tab, randomly type random letters without being asked. AI? I ask. No, the effects of phenylketonurics on circuitry.
I unplug the keyboard and take it downstairs to try and evaporate the Dew™ with a hair dryer. Then I see that there is some now moistened lint and goo beneath the keys so I let my finger off the “cool” button to try and surge some wind in there to remove it. It takes exactly 3 seconds for a hair dryer to melt the keys of your Apple™ keyboard. Now the entire right hand position of my keyboard is misshapen like shrinky dinks™. In order to try to lift them back into playing position, I take the keyboard apart. I remove all the shriveled keys and give the thing a thorough cleaning. Then I search the house and borrow “test” keys from all the ancient keyboards from Macs gone by. None fit. Eventually I decide that I can live without the numeric pad until I can replace the whole thing. So I remove the numeric keys and place them at right hand position.
Twenty more drying minutes, 6 tiny screws replaced, and we’re back in business. Keyboard as good as new (sans numeric key pad), with confusing errant symbols where the letters should be to thwart any unwary typists who have to watch their hands.

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